Showing posts with label Del Rio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Del Rio. Show all posts

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Deep Ellum Icon: Honest Joe's Pawn Shop

Here is an original sign (there were hundreds) from Honest Joe's Pawn Shop, for decades a Deep Ellum institution. Here is how I used it in "Friend of the Devil," as a pawn shop in Del Rio:

The tower bell starts ringing, bong, bong, bong, and that’s when I see, a block and a half up the street, a big sign for Honest Joe’s Pawn Shop, which I don’t remember being there before. Bong, bong, bong. So I wrap my arm tight around my guitar case and start running toward it. The whole way up, there’s folks standing there saying, Hey Slim, Hi Slim, Where you running to, Slim? And to each of them I give a nice, friendly how you all, because as anyone in the business will tell you, fans are money in the bank.
http://www.amazon.com/Friend-Devil-Brendan-McNally-ebook/dp/B004VXK1LKThe bell is still ringing when I force myself to stop and catch my breath for a second before going in, because nothing good ever happens to anyone who comes too fast into a pawnshop. Honest Joe’s is really just a hole in the wall; less an emporium than a vestibule with a couple glass display cases filled with trays of watches, rings, and pocketknives.
Honest Joe is a little bald gnome of a man with green eyeshades, who sits perched on a swiveling metal high chair. He looks up from his racing form and swivels to face me. “Whattaya need?” he drawls.
I set my guitar case on the counter and open it. He tries not to look impressed, but he is. “That’s a Martin, innit?” he asks. I nod.
“I need a gun,” I tell him. 
(Excerpt from "Friend of the Devil," available on Kindle)

Friday, January 9, 2015

Texas Bluesman Explains Why He Won't Gun Down Everyone Who Pisses Him Off

I walk straight through the house without looking at anything, past the dining room all set up for supper, and the living room with all the golden chairs and couches and lamps and all the historical paintings of Brinkley and his dick. I can hear the Mexican servants hurrying to catch up. One of them runs past me to get the door open before I get to it. As he pulls it open for me, a glass door opens in one of the ante-rooms next to the circular staircase. Two heads cautiously peek out. It’s Rose Dawn and The Great Koraan. The moment he recognizes me, his face reddens. Then I hear Rose Dawn cry out, “Herbert?” But I don’t stop.

http://www.amazon.com/Friend-Devil-Brendan-McNally-ebook/dp/B004VXK1LKOutside, the night air is cool and sweet. The dark sky is bright with a sliver of moon and thousands of stars. My mind goes back to all those ancient-pretending paintings of Brinkley and it almost feels like what I just walked out of was Babylon itself. For a moment, I think about Hamer and find myself wondering if it was a mistake to have left him with those people. But that thought only lasts a moment and then I’m just glad to be away from them.

She called me Herbert in front of her husband and the Mexican servants. No telling who else knows it now. Great. This thing is starting to happen even faster than I’d expected. As I walk along the road toward town, I notice someone walking towards me from the opposite way. Even before I can make him out, I guess who it is. It’s that other guy. He sure does have a way of showing up.

I try to walk past him, but he keeps trying to block my path. For some reason he’s boiling angry. “You fucking asshole,” he shouts in a high-pitched voice. “What’d you have to do that for? I hand it to you on a fucking silver platter. Couldn’t you just let it happen? We’d have won. You’d have walked free. But you couldn’t do it. Why? Didn’t you see his pain? Don’t you see how the man was suffering? Why couldn’t you just let him do himself? Why do you have to play God.”

Fuck you,” I say. “I don’t believe in God.” That gets me so ticked off, for a second I actually consider taking out Old Lucky and going back and shooting him. But I don’t. If I shot everybody that pissed me off, there wouldn’t be a whole lot of people left. I don’t really hear what he says after that, except that I shouldn’t expect the next round to be any walk in the park.

By the time I finally get home to the rooming house, Jack is asleep on the rocking chair out front. As gently as I can, I pick him and carry him inside and put him down on his bed. Then I sneak into the kitchen to see if Mrs. Gruner might have put anything aside I could eat.
(Excerpt from Friend of the Devil, available on Kindle)

Friday, October 31, 2014

News of Bonnie & Clyde's Death Spreads Through a Del Rio Diner

I stumble up the street, feeling like my eyes just been ripped out, and the whole time I got that dang song going through my head:

Death don’t take a vacation in this land 
Death don’t take a vacation in this land 
He’ll come to your house, he won’t stay long 
Look into the bed, somebody in your family will be gone
Oh, Death don’t have no mercy in this land.

So they got ‘em. Poor Clyde, poor Bonnie, poor stupid bastards. It’s not that I’m in the least bit surprised, or that I’m not massively relieved it was them that got killed and not me, but even so, I’ve now got an emptiness bellowing inside me that don’t want to let go. For a while I just wander the streets, like I got them alive in front of my eyes, so alive, so crazy, like they was gods from the old times. But now they’re dead, dead, dead, and poor dumb mortal me is still alive.

http://www.amazon.com/Friend-Devil-Brendan-McNally-ebook/dp/B004VXK1LKKnowing I can’t wander the streets forever, I go into the Tastee Diner and order a blue plate special. They got the radio on with the usual worked-up preacher endlessly going on about Salvation and the Blood of the Lamb and his address, Box-435-Del-Rio-Texas. I keep waiting for someone to cut in and make an announcement, but twenty minutes and seven or eight Box 435s later, he gets replaced by another screaming preacher and I actually start half-believing it might all have been just crazy-girl talk. But then it dawns on me that, this being Dr. Brinkley’s station, they simply don’t broadcast news. So I stay on my stool, not really thinking about much of anything, just waiting for word to come, knowing it’s just a matter of time before it does. The counterman comes by and refills my coffee; I’m about halfway through it when the door opens and someone comes in shouting, “Did you all hear? The Barrow Gang’s been killed in an ambush!”

For the next few seconds it’s like this deep quiet sets in, as if, for that one moment, none of them actually believes it. But then the vacuum breaks and as the air rushes back in, I see their faces going off like they’re fireworks, some of them angry, some disappointed or glad, followed by a rumbling of voices, like we’re standing at their graves, with them already laid deep into the ground, and it’s time to offer final words, before the earth gets covered on them and we all walk away and get on with other things.

"Well, they had a good long run. Nobody expected them to last long as they did,” says one.

"They must’ve knowed they wasn’t going to get away forever,” says somebody else.

"Mean as snakes, both of them!”

"Couple of two-bit punks.”

After another minute or two, the topic has moved on to something else. I finish my coffee, pay my bill and go. A half hour later, I find Hector, ride the Tijuana Taxi across the border, do my show, collect my five dollars and then head back to Del Rio.
(Excerpt from Friend of the Devil," available on Kindle)

Thursday, November 7, 2013

More Heard It on the "X"

At three minutes to, the light in the announcer’s booth comes on and I can see that Billy Bays, one of the station’s afternoon announcers, has come in. He greets us and then he and Raoul do a quick check and he smiles and gives me a thumbs-up. They’ve got about a dozen different announcers doing shifts at the station. They’re all bright, sunny guys, and everything they say always has an exclamation point attached.

“Thirty seconds,” says Raoul.

I nod and begin quickly playing the melody to the opening instrumental, which is a rolling medley of Sunshine Trails and Happy in the Saddle. When we go on the air, he’ll have me playing in the background and then, once Billy Bays finishes doing his thing, he’ll switch that mike off and bring me up to full.

“Ten seconds.”

Billy Bays and I both nod. Then Raoul holds up his hand for five, four, three... Then the on-the-air light comes on and he points to Billy Bays, who immediately starts speaking: “The Royal Consolidated Chemical Corporation of Chicago, Illinois, is proud to present The Peruna Program! Featuring America’s favorite singing cowboy, Slim Gatlinburg! Take it away, Slim!”

http://www.amazon.com/Friend-Devil-Brendan-McNally-ebook/dp/B004VXK1LK/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1383852652&sr=8-4&keywords=friend+of+the+devil
My strumming gets fiercer, as Billy Bays' booth light goes out. I let it go on another thirty seconds or so, then I start talking while I continue to pick and strum.

“Howdy there, friends and neighbors, this is Slim Gatlinburg, your saddle pal, host and good neighbor along the way. Golly, I’m glad you’ve come by my campfire to visit, because we got a really swell program ready for you today, some songs I know you’ll really like. Now here’s an old favorite of mine, My Oklahoma Home.”

When it’s springtime on the prairie, 
And the sagebrush is beginning to flower 
That’s when I’m riding back to my Oklahoma home 
Where the trees sing in the breeze 
And the Sooner Sun starting to tower 
‘Cause that’s where this cowboy’s sweetheart is waiting 
And soon we’ll be celebrating 
On my Indian pony I’m riding 
Over the prairie we’ll be gliding 
Back to my Oklahoma home.

Now I do the chorus. Needless to say, this is something I wouldn’t be caught dead playing in a saloon. But I’ll sing it on street corners when the audience tends toward families and maiden aunts and kids who go to sleep each night needing to believe cowboys all drink soda pop and carry banjos while they’re riding the range. It’s for people who don’t ever think about dustbowls and hungry, thirsty cattle and skies that are always gray. Now the second verse.

When it’s springtime on the prairie
And we’re riding along the trail
Watching the gray white dove above me
And hearing the peeping quail
That’s when my heart is laughing,
And I know it won’t be long
‘till she’s riding her pony beside me,
back in my Oklahoma home.

By now, it’s like a big chunk of my brain has stepped outside for a smoke. The problem with singing in a broadcast studio is there isn’t anyone in the audience to fix on. I try singing to Raoul, but, being an engineer, he’s not hearing any music, only sound levels and interference. Suddenly I start wondering again what the hell I said or did that got him all pissed off so much. All I did was ask about that guy. Is the reason I never heard about him that everyone is so scared of him they don’t even mention his name?

I do another song, one about rolling wagon wheels, followed by one about campfires and shooting stars. And the whole time I’m singing it, I’m thinking about the way Christine looked down her nose at me this morning when I was visiting the office. The nerve she has ordering me to provide song lists without bothering to say who’s asking for it. Those people all act like they’re doing me a big favor having me sing for them and that the five-dollar bill they give me after each show is a lot more than I’m worth, but I know it’s their way of keeping me on a short leash. If I wasn’t pulling mail, I’d be long gone. And if I wasn’t pulling a whole lot of mail, they wouldn’t have added the Good Neighbor Get Together to my workload.

I start to strum another song, but then I see Raoul waving for me to start my first commercial break. I take my left hand off the neck and take the first script from the stand.

“You know, folks, when you’re out riding the range, day after day, I can tell you, there’s nothing worse than having a sluggish system. Do you ever feel like that? Now, you’re probably just like me, most of the time strong and regular, but sometimes we all need a little help. That’s why I want you to try Peruna, with the absolute, positive understanding that it’ll restore you to a regular state or your money will be cheerfully refunded.

“Every day we get hundreds of letters from folks just like yourself who’ve been troubled by sluggishness and, after using Peruna, they’re right back to their old active selves. Peruna, the modern miracle medicine made by your friends at the Royal Consolidated Chemical Corporation of Chicago, Illinois. Just send two dollars to Peruna, care of this station, Del Rio, Texas. And please tell them Slim Gatlinburg sent you!”

And I look again at the clock, twenty minutes have gone by, which means I’ve still got an hour and forty minutes left.

“Now here’s one of my favorite songs. It’s called Under the Blue Wyoming Moon and it goes like this.”

Yippee-kai-yai-yay,
oer the hills the doggies play 
And I’m happy in the saddle again!
 (Excerpt from Friend of the Devil, available on Kindle here).

Saturday, November 2, 2013

The Road to Del Rio XIII: Mommy, Where do Gods Come From? What's a Moonchild?

When atheist doper-bluesman Herbert arrives in Del Rio, he quickly falls into a new life as a singing cowboy on border blaster station XER. He starts to think he may finally be free from both God (the Other Guy) and the Devil (Mr. Stevens). But the fact is, all he's really done is step into a hotbed of alchemy, magic, and, ultimately, god creation.

Friend of the Devil may be set at a time and place where just about everyone is Christian, but the Judeo-Christian sensibility almost never enters into the picture. It doesn't even matter that the characters include two guys who are probably God and the Devil, this story runs completely outside that perspective. Similarly, everything going on in the story with Stevens and the Other Guy is also a couple steps removed from what we know from the Bible. Sure, Mr. Stevens is most certainly Satan himself, but then Old Scratch is always pretty much the same character regardless of whatever name or cultural context he might be inhabiting at that particular moment. What's different about Stevens is how for the Lord of Darkness, he's not exactly on top of his game. When Herbert first picks him up hitchhiking, the first thing he does is begin whining about the bad day he'd been having. He's ten hours late for a midnight meeting with someone at the Crossroads. He's evil, he's crafty, but at this point he's also pretty much of a fuck-up.

http://www.amazon.com/Friend-Devil-Brendan-McNally-ebook/dp/B004VXK1LK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1383439030&sr=8-3&keywords=friend+of+the+devilBy the same token, the Other Guy certainly seems analogous to God, but after you get to know him a little, it becomes obvious that whatever resemblence he might bear with the Christian deity is, at best, circumstantial. Sure, he's not evil, but his essential goodness has largely been watered down by a sense of indifference. By now, just about the only thing that holds his interest is his ongoing good-versus-evil wagering with Stevens. He and Stevens are both some pretty tired gods. Moreover, he tends to get fairly irritated whenever he finds himself being mistaken for the God of Israel. It shouldn't be hard to figure out that while the Other Guy might be a god, he ain't God.

At the radio station, Herbert meets Rose Dawn, one of XER's star personalities. Rose is a clairvoyant with supernatural powers and, in fact, may or may not be a god herself. What Herbert realizes is that she is being used by her husband, the Great Koraan, who is in cahoots with Stevens and Dr Brinkley, to produce a "moonchild;" an alchemical creation; a man-made god.  As much as Herbert refuses to believe in any of it, he also knows it's up to him to stop it.


“The Great Koraan says I’m a big cosmic mistake, that I’m a no-good, worthless bit of celestial trash.”

“Rose, that’s nuts.”

She starts crying again. “But he’s right. The Great Koraan is always right. Oh golly gee, sometimes I wish I’d never been engendered.”

“Why do you always call him that?”

“Call him what?”

“The Great Koraan.”

“Well, that’s his name, isn’t it?”

“It’s not his real name. It’s a stage name, for cats’ sake. His parents didn’t call him that, did they?”

She looks surprised and troubled, like the question had never occurred to her.

“Don’t you have any pet names for him? Korrie? Snookums?”

She shakes her head. “Why, of course not, it would be disrespectful.”

“Disrespectful? Why? He’s just a man, isn’t he?”

“He isn’t just a man. The Great Koraan just happens to be the greatest living entity in the universe.”

“Is he?”

“Well, yes, everybody knows that.”

“Well, I don’t.”

“You don’t count,” she snaps. “You’re an atheist. You see all the miracles of existence going on right in front of your eyes and it doesn’t make any difference to you.”

“You got that right, Toots.”
(Excerpt from Friend of the Devil, available on Kindle here).

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

The Road to Del Rio XII: From Wandering Bluesman to Corporate Singing Cowboy


Just as Herbert T. Barrow might be the last man in the world to see the face of God in anything, even when staring God himself in the face, he is also the last man in the world to see himself existing anywhere on a corporate ladder. He's just a wandering bluesman, playing streetcorners and saloons to anyone with a nickle or dime to put down. True, at the moment, he's found himself a nice little $5-a-day radio gig shilling laxatives and singing cowboy songs over the Mexican Border Blaster, XER, but that's all it is. Every day he rides a taxi across the border into Mexico, does his show, collects his five bucks, rides the taxi back to Del Rio and that's pretty much that.

When Part II of Friend of the Devil opens,  Herbert is standing in the local offices of his employer, the Royal Consolidated Chemical Company, summoned by Christine, the imperious, just-out-of-secretarial-school receptionist and so far, the only person from the company he's ever actually met. She tersely informs Herbert, that from now on, he is to submit for review a playlist of the songs he's going to sing five hours before each day's show. This strikes Herbert as odd, since up until now no one from the company has shown even the slightest interest in what he does on the air. In the world of border-blaster radio, only one thing matters; how well a performer can "pull mail." A singing cowboy might well be the best yodler on the planet, but unless he can persuade listeners to order products and send in money, he's useless to them. Apparently Herbert, or 'Cowboy Slim Gatlinburg,' as he calls himself, pulls in mail just fine. Though Christine invokes the name of their never-seen boss, Mr Klingman, Herbert guesses it's merely something she's concocted to exert control over him and other would-be minions. Instead of writing anything down, he reels off a list of made-up song titles, and before she can say anything, Herbert bids her a good day and leaves.

Once outside, standing in the bright Texas sunshine, Herbert sees it's noon and time for lunch and strolls over to the Tastee Diner for a bite. Along the way, he greets people on the street he knows. At this point Herbert has been living in Del Rio about three months. Things have been going well for Herbert, so well, he's almost allowed himself to forget the craziness he'd gone through riding with Bonnie and Clyde, being pursued by Texas Ranger Captain Frank Hamer, as well as a band of fortune hunters and always with God and the Devil nearby, watching over it all, and betting on what they think Herbert might do next. But as tempting as it might be to dismiss it all as nothing more than a very bad dream, Herbert knows with complete certainty that these last three months of peace are nothing more than a between-the-rounds respite and that it's just a matter of time before Mr. Stevens and the Other Guy start it all up again.

Little does Herbert realize that the clockwork, corporate and celestial, has already started turning around him.

Following is an excerpt from Friend of the Devil, available on Kindle.

“What do you want, Mister Stevens.”

“Besides that song, nothing much. Wanted to say hi and to tell you there’s no hard feelings and that, you know, I still owe you a favor, anytime you might want to collect on it.”

“So, are you and, that guy, still got a bet going on me?”

Stevens frowns. “That guy? Are you talking about God?” The way he says it suggests he half expects the man might come suddenly and smite us both silly.

“He never gave me a name,” I tell him.

Stevens chuckles. “Well, you know, he has lots of names.” He fingers his beard reflectively, then adds, “but don’t we all?”

“Answer my question.”

“Oh, we’ve always got a bet going over this or that. The fate of the world can be such a complicated thing.”

“Plus the side bets.”

“Oh, yes,” say Stevens, his eyes twinkling like he’s glad someone’s finally gotten this colossal joke of his.

“And so that’s where the real action is, isn’t it?”

Stevens smiles.

“Does he understand that?”

“Hey!” Stevens rolls his eyes as might a young girl. “I have no idea,” he says. “When somebody’s eye is always on a bunch of sparrows, it’s hard to tell what else they might or might not understand.”

I don’t say anything. He looks like he’s about to leave. But then he turns back and asks, “So, are you going to sing my song or not?”

“It’s your song?”

“You said it yourself, man pays the money, so it’s his song,” he says.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

The Road to Del Rio XI: Heard It on the "X"

Back when the rest of America was still stuck in the Great Depression, there was one place where everyone seemed to be doing just fine, thank you very much. That place was Del Rio, a bustling little town in South Texas right on the Mexican Border. When the rest of the country was out of hope, Del Rio had so much of it they were blasting it out every day and inviting the whole world to help themselves to. And this wasn't the spiritual sort of hope. Heck no! What Del Rio was offering was of the purely physical sort. What Del Rio was selling was sexual rejuvenation.

"Yes indeed, friends and neighbors and all you fine folks out there in Radio-Land, if you're sexually weak, sexually impotent, sexually dead. If you've got a flat tire and you're afriad that there's nothing left to live for, that all you're doing with your so-called-life is marking time between now and when you're laying there on the cold grey slab in the undertaker's parlor. If this describes you, then I want you to listen very closely to this message I have for you today during this period of broadcast. Because if you listen to what I say and do exactly as I recommend, you too can return to the bright sunshine of full sexual health and vigor..."

It all started in Milford, Kansas in the early 1920s where there was this phony doctor named Brinkley; J.R., John Romulus Brinkley. Dr. Brinkley had developed one of the greatest money-making scams of the 20th Century. It involved transplanting, or at least claiming to transplant, slivers of testicle from young billy goats  into those of well-heeled, but poorly-performing, middle-aged men. About all Brinkley probably did was make an incision, inject some colored wate, followed by just enough sewing-up afterwards that the patient had to spend a few days with his johnson sheathed in bandages, during which time he had little to do but dream wildly of all the fun he was going to have with his masculinity fully restored, of being a stallion, instead of a gelding, of being, as Dr Brinkley never tired of promising; "the ram that am with every lamb!"

Needless to say, Brinkley's goat gland proposition worked well enough that his patients convinced themselves that they had it back and thanks to mind-over-matter and a lot of word-of-mouth, Brinkley was making himself a nice little pile of dough. But word of mouth advertising wasn't enough. Brinkley needed to find a way to really get his message out and bring in the suckers in sufficient number to make him a millionaire. The answer, Brinkley realized, was radio.

The "Radio Age" had begun a few years before, and Doctor Brinkley was one of the first people to recognize its immense potential. He built a radio station in Milford named KFKB (for Kansas First, Kansas Best) and for a couple years he was wildly successful. But then two things happened. First, Brinkley, not being the sort of person who could restrict his vocal ruminations purely to matters of sex and glands, started veering off into politics. He had a golden voice and an authoritarian manner that was also warm and folksly. People ate up what he had to say, whether it was about sex or God or politics. He decided to run for governor, but the powers that be used a technicality to keep Brinkley off the ballot. So he ran as a write-in candidate and he would have won, except that the reigning political powers were able to disqualify all the write-in ballots that were not perfectly spelled.

At the same time, the Federal Government in Washington, alarmed at the anarchy going on over the airwaves, moved to regulate radio broadcasting, demanding that it be done in the public interest, and outlawing baldfaced requests for money that radio hucksters like Brinkley were engaging in. In short order the the newly constituted Federal Radio Commission shut down Brinkley's station. Brinkley left Kansas and vowed he'd never let anyone ever tell him what he could or could not do.

The solution, he soon discovered, was on the Texas-Mexican border.  The town fathers of Del Rio approached Brinkley and showed him all their town had to offer to a free-wheeling guy like himself. He could set up his hospital right there in town, they recommended he simply take over a floor of the Roswell Hotel. All they asked was that Brinkley do the right thing and spread the wealth around and not burn the locals. Beyond that, they didn't really care what he did with the suckers coming down on the train with $800 burning a hole in their pockets.  These were conditions even Brinkley could understand and respect. They shook hands all around.

Instead of building himself a hospital, Brinkely did indeed rent out a floor of the Roswell and called it the Brinkley Hospital. What he built instead was a radio station, named XER, the most powerful one in the world, just across the border in Mexico. Now he was free to broadcast anything he wanted and he did. Brinkley would spend hours each day preaching about sexual health and his miraculous goat gland operation. He'd mix it up by bringing down hillbilly bands to play music and sing. The airtime he didn't use for his own purposes, he rented out to preachers, singing cowboys and other hucksters, all of whom had come down to Del Rio for the same reason, to rake in the dough. It was a kind of paradise, far away from all the trouble and strife going on in the rest of America at the time.

Even so, if what was happening in the rest of the US might have seemed very far away to the good folks in Del Rio, to the people in the vast expanse of America,  Del Rio seemed like next door. Day after day, people let Dr. Brinkley and the other "X Station" stars into their homes. The music they played became the music everyone in America listened to: Hillbilly, Gospel, and Cowboy.

And it is into this world that Herbert T. Barrow finds himself cast. He has finally removed himself from the clutches of Bonnie, Clyde, the fortune-hunters, as well as God and the Devil. When the section opens, it's probably three months later and for all intents and purposes, Herbert is another person altogether.  His career as XER's singing cowboy is well underway. He sings cowboy songs by day for five dollars a session, and earns a heaping pile of nickles, dimes and quarters every night he plays blues at the Black Pussy Cat Cafe. Herbert is well on his way to becoming a local in Del Rio, somebody everyone knows and likes. Who knows, he just might settle down there and grab his own permanent piece of the Del Rio Dream.  But then, later that day,  when he's at the XER studios to do his program, a woman passes him in the corridor. Their eyes meet and even though neither exactly realizes it, they have both met their destiny.

Inside, everything is friendly, though businesslike; a mix of Anglo and Mexican secretaries, engineers and executives purposefully bustling about, speaking in a seamless patter of Spanish and English. At one end of the room are some leather couches. I sink into one and take my guitar out of its case and start tuning up. I’m there about three minutes when Peggy, the program director’s assistant, comes in with her clipboard in hand and says: “You’ll be in Studio C today, Slim.”

“Is it clear yet?”

“In five minutes. They’re just finishing up something now.”

“Who’s the engineer today?"

“Raoul Ortega.”

“Great,” I say, “lead the way.”

Peggy takes me through a rabbit warren of narrow, airless corridors with banks of glowing electrical panels on either side of us; large, wide metal cabinet doors with chrome handles jutting out that you hit if you walk too close to them.

We turn a corner and there’s hazy light coming from a window at the end of the corridor. That’s when I see a strange, exotic woman practically floating up the corridor towards us. She’s got on a diaphanous rose-colored gown that’s flecked in gold and her face hidden behind a veiled turban. The scent of jasmine wafts into my nose and suddenly I’m imagining the half-shadowed interior of some ancient, middle-eastern temple, rows of smooth Egyptian columns, scrolls, hieroglyphics, obelisks, statues of forgotten idols.

“Good afternoon, Peggy,” she says pleasantly as she walks by.

“Good afternoon, Rose,” says Peggy.

“Good afternoon, Slim,” she adds.

“Afternoon,” I say.

I turn around and watch her disappear around the corner.

“Who’s that?” I ask Peggy.

“You mean you don’t know?” asks Peggy, arching her eyebrows. “Well, she certainly knows you.”

“I have no idea,” I say. “Who is she?”

“Why, that’s Rose Dawn.” 

(Excerpt from Friend of the Devil, available on Kindle here)

Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Road to Del Rio X: It's Not about Good vs Evil, It's about Side Bets

Okay, it's probably a mistake even bringing this up, but one of the reasons I decided to write Friend of the Devil was that I wanted to look at questions about what it means to be human as opposed to what it means to be a god.  Man lives only a short time, gods live almost forever.  Man becomes aware of his mortality early on and most of us never really manage to lost sight of that fact. But isn't having your mortality always dangling in front of you what gives our lives their flavor, all the sweetness and sadness, the longing and fulfillment. It's what allows us to grow and change and dwell on things.

I'm only saying all this because you need some kind of baseline if you're going to try to think what existence must be like for a god. Taking what we understand about ourselves and then applying it to someone who doesn't share any of those essential characteristics, you can get some idea what it must be like.

If you live almost forever, you might go whole eons and never spent a moment dwelling on your own ultimate mortality. Just think how, compared to them, our own seemingly-incredible capacity for denial and self-deception must seem absolutely insignificant. Gods might feel the same basic urges and emotions that we do, but it can't be the same thing at all. Gods might experience something like love, but never longing. They might have whims, but never doubt. Should they experience the pain of sadness or heartache, it will only last for a moment and then it's forgotten. Nothing makes that much of an impact on them, it can't. You'd have to be human for that to happen.

Basically man can change, but gods really can't.  Or can they?

In Friend of the Devil, there is a character named Stevens, who is most certainly the Devil incarnate. He is plainly evil, though in an over-the-hill sort of way. The god character is someone without a name, though the narrator, being a staunch atheist, refers to him simply as "the other guy." He should be good, but he's not. It's not that he's bad, he's just kind of an indifferent deity. You get the sense he might not have always been like this. Perhaps something happened.

My theory is that The Other Guy fell victim to the side bet.  For countless eons, or at least as men have walked on the Earth, he and Steven have been wagering with each other over the souls of good men to see how well they actually stand up to temptation. After running such a bet a couple million times, boredom must have set in and the two of them found that the one way to spice up the proceedings was in adding sidebets on the myriad little things that might or might not happen.

The narrator, Herbert T. Barrow, is ultimately a good man, though one whose moral compass is strictly his own. He refuses to believe in a god even after giving god a ride and sharing his food with him. He refuses to sing religious songs, songs of redemption and praise, because since in his estimation God doesn't exist, songs praising Him are all bullshit and part of a Big Lie and he won't have anything to do with it. When Stevens offers him his pocketwatch in exchange for a single hymn of praise, Herbert refuses on principle. It doesn't matter that the Devil's Pocketwatch is surely a priceless thing, and that singing even an incredibly sacreligious song would fulfill the terms of Stevens' offer,  Herbert steadfastly refuses because his lack of faith is steadfast.

Herbert was a Marine in the Great War. He saw a tremendous amount of killing and killed a lot of enemy soldiers during the fighting.  He vowed, in his atheist's heart, never to kill again. Despite their endless wagering, God and the Devil no longer even care about whether or not Herbert will return to killing, while he travels unwillingly with Bonnie and Clyde. Presumably they've made that bet, but all they really care about is the sidebet on what kind of weapon will he pick when the moment does come. Will it be a pistol, a rifle, or a BAR?

God, the other guy, whatever you or Herbert wants to call him, has stopped caring about whether Herbert chooses good over evil.  He really doesn't give a shit.

Bonnie, Clyde and Herbert get pursued by men who aren't "The Laws." They're something else.  They're men who've heard about The Devil's Pocketwatch and, unaware that Herbert had kicked it out of his car a month earlier back in Arkansas, they've come hunting for it.

Texas is a great big state and the last part of the Road to Del Rio takes place somewhere, anywhere, in it between the Oklahoma and Mexican borders. Go find a map and look at the vastness and put your finger down on a spot between Fort Worth, Lubbock, and San Angelo. Bet you anything that's exactly where it takes place.

Following is an excerpt from Friend of the Devil:


"Now, next stop: Del Rio, Texas, the garden spot of the Rio Grande Valley. And I understand the Royal Consolidated Chemical Corporation is going to have an opening for a singing cowboy in a matter of days.”

Del Rio. Funny, I’d almost forgotten my dreams of going there.

“So who won?”

“Who won? Well, nobody won. It was a draw.” He says it like it’s nothing. “We agreed it’d run for a set amount of time. Now the time’s up and you’re free to go.” He shrugs like a guy who’d been born with his hands in his pockets.

“So how’d you do with the side bets?”

He brightens. “Pretty good, actually. Won eight out of thirteen.” He grins and puts his thumb up.

“Yeah, that’s pretty good,” I say. “But then you were betting on me picking up a gun and killing people.

The young man corrects me. “I was betting on you picking up a BAR and killing people.”

“Oh,” I say.

“You’re not an easy one to predict, you know. You do a lot of surprising things, very surprising things. But, you know, that’s what makes humanity so fascinating.”

“Great.”

“Hey, you’d better get moving,” he says to me. “Remember, when you get to Brady, ask for Red.”

“Right,”I say and start across the field.

“Hey, you know, you don’t have to thank me or anything like that,” he says.

“I wasn’t going to,” I say and pick up my pace.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

The Road to Del Rio VI: Stoned in Nacogdoches


After Arkansas, Herbert T. Barrow drives into Texas. He reaches Nacogdoches, a small city in east Texas, ditches his car, checks into a hotel, takes a bath and then hits the hay in a real bed for the first time since bolting out of Knoxville nearly a week earlier. When he wakes up the next day Herbert begins planning the next step of his journey.  Herbert's plan is to go to the train station, and buy tickets to Del Rio, down on the Mexican border. From what he's heard listening to the radio, he figures it will be easy to find work there as a singing cowboy on XER, the Mexican border blaster radio station.

After everything that has happened to him over the last few days, Herbert figures it wouldn't do him any harm to "take a cure" from all the marijuana he's been smoking.  He reckons Nacogdoches is a good place to start, since it's not exactly famous for its "tea pads" and jazz clubs. But as it turned out, Nacogdoches did indeed have its own local viper scene. Walking past a Mexican bakery, Herbert smells something fragrant and friendly wafting from inside that definitely isn't bread being baked. A minute later he's getting high with the bakers who sell him a lid of primo marijuana.  And that's when everything starts going wrong.

Stoned, Herbert is suddenly too paranoid to go buy tickets at the train station. He ends up using some of the money he'd taken from Captain Hamer and uses it to buy a third-hand Marmon automobile, then finds a gin mill and gets very drunk before staggering back to his room and going to sleep.When he wakes up, there is a heavy rainstorm going on outside. In a flash of stoned brilliance he decides he should use it as a time to leave town in case Hamer is closing in on him. He packs his bag, goes downstairs, pays his bill, gets into his car and leaves. That's it for Nacogdoches, except that in the upcoming chapters, when Herbert falls unwillingly into the company of Bonnie & Clyde, cousin Clyde offers him some marijuana that, judging from the taste of it, he figures comes from the same Mexican Bakery down Nacogdoches way.  There is actually a true Bonnie and Clyde story about this I will relate in a future post.  But let's not leave the subject of Nacogdoches quite yet.

Nacogdoches bills itself as the first city of Texas, which is true in more than one way. For ten thousand years before the White Man showed up, the area was the center of a thriving Native American civilization known variously as the Caddos or the Alabama-Coushatta.  By the time the first Spanish explorers showed up, that civilization was long gone though the Caddos and Alabama-Coushatta were still around, mainly peacefully farming.

The Spanish saw it as a natural place to establish their side of the border with the French empire and built a stone fortress there back in the early 18th Century. By the late 18th Century, it had become clear that the French weren't really any kind of threat and the fort was dismantled.  There was a Spanish population.living there and when the fort got dismantled, the order came for the local population to return south.  But it turned out they didn't want to and elected to stay. Their leader was an officer named Gil Y'Barro and in a way, what he and his people did there resembles the settlement patterns of the Anglos who would settle there in a few more decades.


Nacogdoches became a pueblo, a settlement town far from the close control of the imperial authority.  The American settlers who came there not long after accepted the Spanish authority, but mainly it was lip service in exchange for land grants. There were numerous uprisings and short-lived Texas Republics established, including one called -- shades of the Marx Brothers -- the "Republic of Fredonia."

Eventually a longer lasting Texas Republic was founded, which later joined the United States and then the Confederacy. Nacogdoches was always a big town during the 19th century, fed largely by the cotton that was grown there. It was also a university town, home of what is today Steven F. Austin State University.

Early in the 20th century, Nacogdoches was big enough to support at least one theatre. Once Groucho Marx performed there when he was still just another unknown comedian and according to legend, Groucho informed the audience that "Nacogdoches is full of roaches!"

I'm sure Groucho wasn't just making it up.

The following is an excerpt from Friend of the Devil:


This rainstorm is a real East Texas gullywasher. I’ve been sitting here, stuck inside this car for two hours and it still doesn’t give any sign it’s going to ease up anytime soon. I think something is broken. I can get the engine to start, but the wheels won’t turn or anything. My stupid fault. Why did I have to drive off during a rainstorm? Why? The exact same reason I didn’t ditch the car and buy a train or bus ticket to Del Rio. In a word: marihuana.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Coming Soon: The Road to Del Rio

Starting in a week or so, we'll be documenting Herbert T. Barrow's "escapitude" from the eastern Tennessee border, through Mississippi, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Missouri and Texas to Del Rio on the Mexican border. We'll stop along the way at different towns and places where Herbert spent some time running from the devil, evading God, hiding from Texas Ranger Frank Hamer, and on a crime spree with Bonnie and Clyde. Wherever he goes, oddball and interesting things happen. First stop will be Knoxville, TN, coming soon. Y'all come!


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Here is an excerpt from Friend of the Devil :

At that, my ears perk up. “The Crossroads? You mean Highway 61?”

“Why, yes, yes,” he says. “Highway 61. I was supposed to meet a man there at midnight.”

“At midnight?”

“Yes,” he says. “That’s when we agreed to meet. But like I told you, I’ve had a lot of problems and now I’m late.”

“The Crossroads at midnight?”

“Yes.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I’ve got to tell you, I’ve been a street singer and traveling blues man for some years now and I’ve probably had a hundred different cats tell me the same tale about meeting a man at midnight at the Highway 61 Crossroads.

I let out a little chuckle. “So what were you planning on doing, Mister Stevens? Selling your soul to the Devil?”

Monday, April 8, 2013

Happy 2nd Anniversary to Friend of the Devil

On this date two years ago I first put out Friend of the Devil on Kindle.  I confess, we haven't sold thousands of copies yet, but we've sold some. And after having already gone through hell with New York publishing, I don't mind telling you that this is FAR preferable. This way you actually connect with readers and build communities and if any mistakes get made, at least they're your own.

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I've been a deadhead longer than I care to admit. American Beauty and Workingman's Dead were a big influence on my life, like a lot of other people. 

So once again I'm reaching out to all you readers out there in Radio-Land. Isn't this a perfect occasion to buy your very own ebook copy of Friend of the Devil or even Germania??

Don't wait, friends!  Get your copy today!

http://www.amazon.com/Friend-of-the-Devil-ebook/dp/B004VXK1LK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1365430453&sr=8-3&keywords=friend+of+the+devil




Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Hepcats, Vipers, Texas Outlaws, and Cheap, Cheap Marihuana

This rainstorm is a real East Texas gullywasher. I’ve been sitting here, stuck inside this car for two hours and it still doesn’t give any sign it’s going to ease up anytime soon. I think something is broken. I can get the engine to start, but the wheels won’t turn or anything. My stupid fault. Why did I have to drive off during a rainstorm? Why? The exact same reason I didn’t ditch the car and buy a train or bus ticket to Del Rio. In a word: marihuana.

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I’d fully intended to take a little cure from the weed and let my feet put down some roots into straight reality and having come to ground in a place like Nacogdoches, I figured that would be easy to do, since this town is not exactly renowned for its jazz clubs and viper scene. Therefore, imagine my surprise, that as I stroll back to my hotel after having breakfast in a local diner, I should catch a whiff of some exceedingly righteous bush being burned in the backdoor of a Mexican bakery. All I have to do is walk up and say “Mota, por favor?” and the next thing I know, I’m getting set up with a lid of stuff that’s way, way better than any of the shit ol’ Mezz was peddling back on Lexington Avenue. You can probably see where this is leading, right? For a while I’m goofing around the streets of this East Texas city, laughing and feeling fine, and then I sit down on a park bench and pick up a copy of the local rag that’s lying there and right there on the top of the front page is a big article about how the Barrow Gang, now being led by Clyde’s cousin, criminal mastermind Herbert T. Barrow, pulled off two daring filling station robberies in Southwest Arkansas within a half hour of each other, the first of which involved a shootout with the Barrow Gang and a posse consisting of two FBI agents and the celebrated Texas Ranger, Captain Frank Hamer, the three of whom were briefly captured by the desperados before successfully turning the tables on them and sending them on their way...

I put the newspaper down. On the park bench across from me, a couple of old ladies give me a hard look and before I know it, I’ve got me a first-class case of the heebie-jeebies. When I get to the train station, the idea of going up to the ticket agent and having to talk with him about tickets to different places seems just way too complicated and scary. So instead I go find a hole-in-the-wall speakeasy and spend the rest of the day getting myself plastered. Somehow I manage to stagger back to my hotel room and go to sleep.

(Excerpt from "Friend of the Devil," by Brendan McNally, available on Kindle. Get more "Friend of the Devil" quotes and trivia on our Facebook page)

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

After Killing Bonnie and Clyde, Capt. Frank Hamer Comes Home to Del Rio

But now this. Captain Frank Hamer, the man who’s been hunting me down, the man who ambushed and killed Bonnie and Clyde like they was dogs, is now on his way to Del Rio; Del Rio, which, in addition to being my own favorite place in creation, my little corner of heaven on earth, it turns out is also his. Well, since I reckon this little corner of heaven ain’t gonna be big enough for the two of us, maybe I should skedaddle before he gets wind of my being here. But is it even possible? If coincidence has led him down here, won’t it do the same wherever I go? Well, maybe it will and maybe it won’t, but Imo have to do something. I can’t just wait here for him to take me.

So then how do I flee? What’s my plan? I look around the diner, at Susie the waitress and the guys on
stools at the counter, and a quick look at the clock tells me it’s almost nine thirty, which means I could go back to the rooming house, pack my bags, settle the bill with my landlady, and walk down to the Greyhound station and I’d still have nearly two hours to kill before the noon bus departs for San Antonio. Once there, I know I could get all kinds of lost. Knowing I can do that makes my panic subside some. What’s important now is just to not attract any undue attention, make my departure as invisible as I can. I nod when the waitress comes by with a fresh pot and smile as she refills my coffee.

“Innit great, Slim?” she says.

"Inn-what great, Susie?”

“You know, Frank coming back!”

“Frank?”

Susie looks at me surprised I’m such a dope. “Why, Frank Hamer, Slim!” she exclaims, then laughs and pats my hand. “Can you believe? Hah! I’d forgot that you two never met. Well, you’re in for a real treat, Slim!” She turns to the other customers. “Innat right, boys?”

They all turn in their swivel stools and let out a merry laugh. “Oh, you’re jest going to love Frank Hamer, Slim,” says one, followed by a wave of enthusiastic nods, while the others are all saying, “Yeah!” and, “I can’t wait to see you and him meet, Slim!”

I’m afraid of them seeing my utter horror, so I offer up a weak smile and mutter something bland about looking forward to actually meeting the famous and legendary Texas Ranger Captain Hamer. I say it hoping it might satisfy them and force them to change the subject to something safe, like baseball or FDR.

Susie lets out a cackle that sounds like a nail being pried out of a dry board. “Oh, down here he’s just plain Frank,” she says. “Frank comes to Del Rio to relax, be with his friends and let his hair down a little. He never gets a chance to anywhere else. That’s why he likes it so much here.”

“Besides,” chimes in one of the good old boys on the stools, “ol’ Frank is a whole lot of fun when he wants to be.”

“Yeah,” says another, “he’s always cutting up and wanting a western song. That’s why I just know you two going to get along so well!”

A third one nods vigorously. “I declare, you two gonna be best friends in about a minute.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely!”

No better friend in the whole world than Frank Hamer!”

“You gonna look him in the eye, you shake his hand, and boy, you know you got a pardner for life.”

“Cause that’s the cowboy way!”

“Innat right?”

“At’s right.”

“You bet.”

“Yup.”

And they’re all sitting there smiling at me like a bunch of kids talking about Christmas and not about the meanest, deadliest lawman alive and I’m starting to wonder what in the shit is going on here? Now, I’ve been in the joint and I’ve been in the Marines, so I know how guys will smile at you when they know you’re about to get yours. But this, I am certain, is not that kind of smile. It’s the kind that says they all like me an awful lot and seeing me meet Frank Hamer would be the loveliest, most wonderful thing their little hearts can imagine.

Needless to say, this simply doesn’t make any sense. I’m nothing to them, other than a guy who comes in two or three times a week for a late breakfast. I don’t think any of them have so much as thrown a nickel to me when I play on the street and if any of them have ever listened to my radio program, they sure haven’t mentioned it. Which is all fine, since, like them, I make my money off the tourists. I’m just the latest in a succession of fake singing cowboys with horseshit names like Tex, Slim, Lonesome Dave and Whistling Bob, singing phony cowboy songs while shilling for blood tonics, bowel relaxers, and electric bowties.
(Excerpt from Friend of the Devil, available on Kindle)

Friday, February 8, 2013

The Barrow Gang and Mexican Border Radio

It's 1933 and Herbert T. Barrow is a reefer-addled jazz musician and fervent atheist, who is fleeing the laws, heading for the Mexican border. He's got a plan. He's gonna get him a job as a singing cowboy on XER, the Mexican "border blaster" station, where every huckster, preacher, clairvoyant spook, and hillbilly quartet is already filling up the airwaves and getting rich in the process.


But Herbert makes the mistake of picking up a hitchhiker; a hairy-faced country preacher named Stevens, who turns out to be the Devil himself, and desperately in need of a favor.  Suddenly Herbert is stuck in the middle of a wager (more like an endless series of sidebets) between Stevens and this "other guy," whom Herbert doesn't particularly care for or believe in either.  Somewhere in the course of it, Bonnie and Clyde take him on a blood-splattered joy ride; Herbert becomes 'saddle pals' with Texas Ranger Frank Hamer, the only incorruptible lawman in the entire state of Texas; he falls in love with a pregnant teenage radio seeress named "Rose Dawn," and sings an awful lot of cowboy songs.

God and the Devil follow Herbert all the way to Del Rio, because his own individual moral compass gives him an unpredictability that the deities can't resist in their endless, mostly pointless, wagering. And no matter how much they interfere with his life, his steadfast refusal to believe in them makes him far more dangerous than either could ever imagine. It ends with a gun battle that's right out of Twilight of the Gods. Texas Style!

Friend of the Devil, available on Kindle

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Captain Frank Hamer and The Last Standing Member of the Barrow Gang

For as long as humans have existed, God and the Devil have walked among them, endlessly searching for a virtuous man. Whenever they’d find one, which actually wasn’t that often, they’d get together and place some nasty obstacles in front of him. Then they’d make bets, sit back and watch what happened.

It’s impossible to say when exactly the two got bored with the arrangement and began to add side bets to spice it up a little. If they hadn’t, they would probably never have bothered with Herbert T. Barrow in the first place.

It’s not that Herbert wasn’t, in his own way, a virtuous man; he just wasn’t anybody’s immediate choice on the matter. He tended to do things on impulse, whether it was jazz, women, or stealing cars. Nor was he, even by his own estimation, particularly kind or generous. But then it was hard to be in 1933, when the Great Depression was in its fifth year and anyone who still had two nickels to rub together only had them because they’d run out of sympathy for anyone who didn’t. Besides, Herbert T. Barrow was an avowed atheist and whatever moral compass he possessed was strictly his own. Perhaps this was something neither deity completely grasped, or perhaps they thought they did, but were wrong. It’s always hard to tell with gods. Either way, that was their big mistake.

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The real subject of their wager was the legendary Texas Ranger, Captain Frank Hamer. If there was a single lawman in Texas whose honesty and incorruptibility was beyond reproach, it was Hamer. Renowned for his skills as a detective and a tracker with more than fifty kills to his credit, Frank Hamer was one exceedingly straight, tough hombre. His mistake was letting his pride get the best of him.

Herbert’s mistake was picking up a hitchhiker named Stevens, while running from the ‘laws’ in a stolen car. It was not the sort of thing he usually did, especially since Stevens appeared to be some kind of backwoods preacher. Herbert was fleeing back to Texas, Stevens was late for a midnight meeting with somebody at a crossroads near Tupelo, Mississippi. Getting him there almost on time put Stevens in Herbert’s debt, something Herbert wasn’t interested in collecting on, since Stevens didn’t have any money on him and all the things he was offering seemed like really bad ideas.

Like all good fugitives, Herbert was heading for the border, to a small city on the Rio Grande called Del Rio. While nearly everyone else was hungry and broke, Del Rio was rolling in dough, thanks to a quack doctor named J.R. Brinkley, who had set up a goat gland clinic, where his phony sexual rejuvenation cure brought in dozens of well-heeled suckers each day. To reach them, Brinkley built the world’s most powerful radio station across the river in Mexico, just outside the FCC’s reach. Beside him gather a freebooting assortment of preachers, clairvoyants, hillbilly quartets and snake-oil salesmen, all eager to catch some of the easy money that’s suddenly floating around. Herbert drives to Del Rio, hoping to join their ranks as a singing cowboy and even shill for products of questionable purpose.

But after letting Stevens off, things get strange. Herbert learns that he is being linked to the notorious Texas outlaws Bonnie and Clyde. According to the newspapers and radio news bulletins, he has joined them as a ‘criminal mastermind.’ This puts him into the path, first of Frank Hamer, who is hunting them down, and then of Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow, who turns out to be his much younger cousin.

Without wanting to, Herbert travels with the Barrow Gang and though he does ultimately break free from them and escape to Del Rio, Hamer remains on his trail even after killing the others. Eventually he shows up there and a final bloody reckoning ensues, and always with God and the Devil nearby, arguing endlessly over perceived violations and interferences of their bets. Herbert, having no use for either, vows to stick it to them both, and bad. Luckily for him, he finds an unlikely ally in Rose Dawn, a pregnant, unhappily married radio prophetess.

FRIEND OF THE DEVIL is a darkly comic, historical thriller with touches of the paranormal, following in the tradition of my debut novel, GERMANIA, published in 2009 by Simon and Schuster.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Ambushing the Ambusher

Excerpt from Friend of the Devil:

"Hamer’s head surveys the street before disappearing again. This time, I slowly count to twenty and when it doesn’t reappear, I step off the front porch and walk very deliberately down the sidewalk in the opposite direction, turning right at the corner and then left at the beginning of the next block. I walk up past the well-to-do homes, walking erect like I belong here, a respected businessman, a gentleman of Del Rio, Texas, and not some low-down desperado with a price on his head. The houses all have their windows open and from every one of them, music from the radio is issuing forth; a mandolin quartet, it sounds like, and a lone guitar marking out a melody that might have once been Wildwood Flower. But they’ve changed it, made it their own song. I wonder who these guys are. No way of telling. Musicians come and go from Del Rio so quickly all the time. Who knows, if Hamer kills me today, before I’m even laid out, one of those mandolin players will suddenly sprout a personality, call himself Tex or Lonesome Bob or something similar, and the Royal Consolidated Chemical Corporation of Chicago, Illinois, will have him shilling for them and they won’t ever give a thought to who might have preceded them any more than I did."

Get Friend of the Devil for your Kindle or iPad here Friend of the Devil by Brendan McNally

Friday, October 5, 2012

The Legend of Goat Gland Doctor JR Brinkley

Beta, the town in western North Carolina where John Romulus Brinkley was born in 1885, no longer exists, which in a way is kind of fitting, since huge chunks of his life's story were made up in the first place. Brinkley was an almost wholly self-invented man, which is to say, he was a conman, a fraud, and a crook. But Americans as a people have always prized self-invention. It is part of our worship of success.

JR Brinkley was a handsome, distinguished-looking man who spoke beautifully. He'd always dreamed of being a doctor, but this was not possible, since his own education had been limited to a few odd years of schooling in one-room, country schoolhouses. He worked for a while as a telegraph operator as well as for different railroads, which allowed him to leave the hills and relocate to New York City, where he immediately adopted big-city ways. He apparently tried night school at one point, but quickly lost interest in the long process of education as a way to respectability and success. Instead he found a shortcut.

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Brinkley's career began working as a guide at a storefront "medical museum," a phenomenon that existed in big cities at the turn of the century. They pretended to be educational establishments, but they were more like carnival sideshows.  Their real purpose was to draw in men who worried that they might be suffering from a venereal disease or some other ailment of the reproductive system.  While the visitors stared at the various exhibits, Brinkey and his cohorts stood discreetly in the background, waiting for the right moment to present themselves.  They were always very well dressed, often they sported mustaches and vandyke goatees along with pince nez spectacles to inspire doctorly confidence. He learned to read their body language so he'd know the right moment to step in and offer medical advice. In a matter of seconds, the pigeon was ushered upstairs, given an examination, a consultation, and quickly offered a phony cure and just as quickly separated from whatever money he had on hand.

Brinkley did this for a while, then struck off on his own. For a while he had a partner, with whom he plied the phony doctor trade in different cities in the south. They offered a cure for virility problems, an injection of some "electrical serum," that was really nothing but colored water for $25 a shot, a fortune in those days. In the process they ran up massive bills with local tradesmen and businesses and then skedaddled at the last minute.  After pulling it off successfully in a number of towns, they eventually got caught and put in jail. But Brinkley was able to charm his way out. After that, Brinkley didn't have partners. He strictly worked alone.

Brinkley got a medical degree from a mail-order diploma mill, which billed itself as an 'eclectic' university. For a while Brinkley worked as a doctor for a meat packing plant. During World War One, he was briefly a doctor in the U.S. Army, but he apparently showed so little interest in his duties he was soon let go. Brinkley wasn't the sort to have any boss but himself.  He went to Milford, Kansas and set up shop there.

The way Brinkley told his own story,  and there's no way to tell if it was true or not, he had his epiphany after witnessing a young male goat going at it with a female. He mentioned it to a patient who'd come to him, suffering from a "flat tire;" or, loss of "sexual vigor."  The patient pleaded with Dr. Brinkley to, perhaps, transplant some of the goat's testicles onto his own.  Brinkley did, and lo and behold, the operation was such a success that the man's sexual potency soon returned and a mere nine months or so later, he had sired a son, whom he gratefully named, "Billy."

Within a very short time Brinkley found great success with his goat gland cure.  The patients came in, Brinkley's hospital grew. To advertise it, he bought a radio station, KFKB. At this time radio was still in its infancy, and though it had many proponents,  hardly any of them could grasp its tremendous commercial possibilities. But Brinkley did. He instinctively knew it was the perfect way to reach out to people.

Brinkley was also perfect for radio. He had a deep, soft, golden voice and he spoke beautiful, dignified English. He came off as familiar and reserved, friendly and authoritarian. He spoke about the things you weren't supposed to talk about, sex and glands and energy.  All energy is sex energy, he'd say. With his simple operation, he'd make old men young, he'd turn men from geldings into stallions. People loved what they heard, the loved Brinkley.  The problem was, radio was ceasing to be a wild, wide-open frontier. Radio stations were expected to operate in the public interest. Broadcasters weren't supposed to flat out ask for money, which was what Brinkley did, many, many times each day.

None of it might have been a problem, had Brinkley had the sense to stay out of politics. But he couldn't help it. He was a born outsider, hated anyone telling him what he could and could not say. He spoke out against the authorities in Kansas and the authorities in Washington.  He decided to run for governor as a write-in candidate, and probably would have won, except the authorities  voided most of the ballots for him.  They also shut down KFKB, his station.

But Brinkley wasn't defeated. Far from it. He took his money and abandoned Kansas and did what outlaws traditionally did. He headed for the Border. To Del Rio, Texas , a sleepy little, mostly anglo town on the Mexican border and set up shop there.  Del Rio's town fathers had lobbied hard to get Brinkley to come there. They knew that wherever Brinkley went, lots and lots of money followed. Brinkley set up his Brinkley Hospital, which was really just the second floor of the Roswell Hotel.  But then, in a masterful move, Brinkely built a radio station across the river in Villa Cuna Cohuilla, Mexico. 

A little bit of background: during the 1920s, when the radio craze first burst onto the world, there was no effort at regulation at all, so radio stations popped up all over the dial, often on the same frequencies.  Eventually an effort got set up to rationalize things. Somewhere along the line radio officials from the US and Canada met and carved up the radio band for themselves, leaving the scraps for their little brown neighbors, Mexico and Cuba. Enraged at their treatment, the Mexican government decided it was time to show the gringos what for. They let Brinkley and others set up super-powered radio stations along the border, knowing that the more they irritated Washington, the sooner Washington would agree to a more equitable distribution of the airwaves.

Brinkley was probably not aware of any of this when he decided to make his station, XER, the most powerful radio station on the planet.  It was enough for him to know that his reach extended all over North America and that he could say and do whatever he wanted. He spoke about sex, about glands, about God and government. Needless to say, he was no fan of FDR or the New Deal or the American Medical Association, whom he referred to as the "American Meatcutter's Association." Brinkley also knew how to draw in listeners. He interspersed his long lectures on sexual health with music from hillbilly bands. These included the Carter Family, and in no small part, had much to do with the spread of country music's popularity. He also rented out airtime to anyone else who could pay for it.  And there were plenty of them.  There were radio preachers, psychics, pitchmen, yodelers, singing cowboys. And they were all there for the same reason; it was where the money was.

Even though America was deep in the middle of the Great Depression, there was an unending stream of suckers arriving in Del Rio every day with eight hundred dollars in their hands, hoping Dr. Brinkley's celebrated goat gland operation would give them a new lease on life,  that it would make them, as Brinkley himself liked to put it, "The ram that am with every lamb!"  Patients were encouraged to examine a pen of active young goats kept outside the Roswell Hotel and pick the liveliest.

Supposedly the operation involved transplanting slivers of young goat testicle onto those of his patients. Sometimes they operated, sometimes they just faked it.  Either way, some patients reported miracle results. Sometimes the operations were botched, sometimes the patients got sick from it. Sometimes they even died. Whenever this happened, it was easy enough to sweep it under the rug.  The local medical authorities in Val Verde County, Texas were in no hurry to expose Brinkley as a fraud. Nobody was. He was bringing in far too much money and he was spreading it around.


Brinkley lived in splendor in a massive mansion on the side of which he had his name, 'Doctor Brinkley', done up in large glowing neon lettering. At night the mansion and grounds would be lit up in colored lights. Brinkley had fancy cars. He had several airplanes and he had a massive ocean-going yacht. He often went on trips to Europe, he visited Nazi Germany and met its leader Adolf Hitler, of whom he greatly approved. Life was very good for John Romulus Brinkley.

But Brinkley had enemies. Not powerful ones, but they were vocal and they were relentless. The first blow came when another quack doctor set up a competing hospital in Del Rio, offering the same phony operation, but cheaper. Suddenly Brinkley was finding that the patients he'd gone to such efforts to attract, were being hustled away the moment they stepped off the arriving trains. Brinkley had expected Del Rio's town fathers would be quick to run him out, but to Brinkley's surprise, they wouldn't.  But the enemy Brinkley hated the most was one Dr. Morris Fishbein, a non-practising physician who was editor for the Journal of the American Medical Association. Fishbein had written a series of articles titled "Modern Medical Charlatans," where he went after the different quacks and frauds doing business on the American public. He made Brinkley his favorite target.

In a way, Brinkley's great failing wasn't that he was a quack, a fraud, and a crook. It was that he believed his own lies about himself.  The truly smart criminal is the one who accepts that he lives and operates on the margins of society. He never calls attention to himself and when anyone takes a shot at him, no matter how unwarranted, he must never seek redress.

Brinkley had been at the top for so long that he lost sight of this essential fact. He should have acccepted Fishbein's articles as the very minor irritant they were. He should have had the circumspection to recognize that almost nobody out there in radio-land who listened to his broadcasts ever heard of the Journal of the American Medical Association, let alone read Fishbein's articles. He should have accepted it as the cost of doing business and moved on. But Brinkley couldn't.

Brinkley sued Morris Fishbein for libel and for $250,000 in damages. By doing that, he'd played himself right into Fishbein's hands. The trial only took a couple of days, but when it was done, not only was Fishbein found innocent, but Brinkley was publicly declared a charlatan with blood on his hands. Suddenly the lawsuits began rolling in. The U.S. Government moved in as well, charging him with not having paid his taxes. Even the Mexican authorities went against Brinkley. Mexican army troops came in and seized control of Brinkley's border blaster.  A short time later, a deal was finally reached with Washington and Ottawa to redistribute the airwaves so that Mexico got a fair share.

Brinkley had been a millionaire, but now he was bankrupt. He suffered a series of heart attacks and had to have one of his legs amputated due to poor circulation. He was penniless when he died on May 26, 1942.


FRIEND OF THE DEVIL is a darkly comic, supernatural thriller set in the crazy, colorful world of Del Rio during its legendary 'Border Blaster' era of the 1930s.  Doctor Brinkley is just one of the many characters in the story. It is available on Kindle through Amazon.






Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Friend of the Devil. A Friend of Mine?

It’s 1934 and Herbert T. Barrow is a jazz musician on the run from the laws, but he’s a man with a plan. He’s heading down to Del Rio, Texas to get a job shilling products and singing cowboy songs on XER, the “Border Blaster” radio station located just across the river in Mexico. XER is the most powerful station in the world, owned by J.R. Brinkley, Del Rio’s celebrated “goat gland” surgeon, who uses the airwaves to talk up his miracle sex cure. But when he’s not, the air time is up for grabs to a colorful assortment of preachers, pitchmen, clairvoyants and yodelers, each working his own con. Herbert hopes to join their ranks, hiding in plain view and living the high life as a singing radio cowboy. Only it doesn’t quite work out that way.

While driving through Mississippi, Herbert makes the mistake of giving a ride to a hairy-faced country preacher named Stevens, who tells Herbert he’s ten hours late for a midnight meeting at a crossroads. Being a musician, Herbert knows the story of the Devil at the Crossroad and assumes it’s all a joke. But Stevens is serious. He’s got an important debt to collect and though he’s penniless, promises something extremely valuable to Herbert if he gets him there on time. For reasons not even Herbert understands, he decides to do as Stevens asks. Driving down the road at breakneck speed, they push the morning back into the night before, arriving at the Crossroads just an hour after midnight, where some grisly business is exacted.

Had Herbert been any other man, he might have figured out that Stevens was actually the Devil himself. He might even have figured out that the young man he picks up soon afterwards, who seems to be carrying the world’s sorrows on his shoulders, was, well, the Other Guy; Stevens’ opposite number. Herbert might even have put two and two together and realized the two had been compulsively running wagers since the very dawn of humanity. But Herbert T. Barrow is an atheist, and his refusal to believe is far stauncher, more unbending, and more abstruse than anyone either deity has ever encountered.

The road to is set with traps. There is Clyde, his trigger-happy young cousin and his crazed, alley-cat girlfriend, Bonnie Parker. They both know they’re doomed, but hope bringing Herbert into their gang might at least get them back in the public eye and allow them to go out in a blaze of glory. Then there’s Hamer; Captain Frank Hamer of the Texas Rangers, the toughest, meanest, and possibly only honest lawman in the entire state of Texas. He’s determined to put Bonnie and Clyde in their graves any way he can, including bushwhacking them. Killing them is just business, but somehow, his quest to nail Herbert becomes deeply personal, even after Herbert saves his life.

Having been made pawns in a contest between the gods, Herbert now finds himself battling Hamer to the death on the streets of Del Rio. But just as things couldn’t be more grim, Herbert finds an unlikely ally; a pregnant, underage radio clairvoyant named Rose Dawn, whose sneezing fits can level a building.

Friend of the Devil by

Monday, September 3, 2012

Devil at the Crossroads? Boring!



As a bluesman wandering America in the 1930s, Herbert T. Barrow was one of the few white men to hear the story of meeting the Devil at the crossroads. But it wasn’t something he paid much mind to. The way he saw it, half the black cats he knew told that yarn about themselves and a lot weren’t all that hot guitar players. But the real reason was that Herbert Barrow was an atheist. He didn’t hold with God, the Devil, preachers, or spook-talking hoodoo men of any stripe.

But then one day, against his better judgment, Herbert gives a ride to a country preacher who it turns out happens to be on his way to those same crossroads. But he’s not there to sell his soul, he’s there to collect one. The problem is, he’s already ten hours late for his midnight meeting and needs Herbert to drive him fast as he can to get him there on time. Again, against his better judgment, Herbert obliges.

What he witnesses there at the crossroads and over the next few days would probably have convinced anyone else that God and the Devil were not only real, but also running extremely convoluted wagers with each other over how quickly virtuous men succumb to temptation. Anyone else might have been shocked to learn that, while the Devil was unmistakably evil, his opposite number was mostly uninvolved and distant. But of course, all this is missing on Herbert T. Barrow, whose refusal to believe is unwavering.

All Herbert wants is to get through Mississippi, Arkansas, and Texas and not stop until he reaches Del Rio, on the Mexican border. While the rest of America is caught in the grips of the Great Depression, Del Rio is an oasis of prosperity and hope. That is because Del Rio is home of the Brinkley Hospital, a world famous sexual rejuvenation clinic. Dr. JR Brinkley, its celebrated founder, has developed a revolutionary method of transplanting the testicles of goats onto those of well-heeled human patients, giving them new lease on virility. Or so he says. 

To get his message out, Brinkley has built the world’s most powerful radio station across the river in Mexico. Most of the time, its million watts are delivering his folksy lectures about sexual health. The rest of the time it’s being rented out to hucksters, preachers, clairvoyants and yodelers, all with their own messages of hope and transformation and all of them there for just one reason; money.  

Despite his background as a reefer-smoking, tea-shade-wearing, jazz-playing viper, Herbert’s plan is to enter their ranks as a singing cowboy. But besides God and the Devil, a couple other things stand in his way. First is his adoring younger cousin Clyde and second, Clyde's alley-cat girlfriend Bonnie. They’re young, hop-headed, crazy in love, meaner than snakes, and can’t be convinced that Herbert wouldn’t be the perfect third wheel to their criminal outfit. Then there’s Hamer, Captain Frank Hamer of the Texas Rangers, a natural-born killer and possibly the only honest lawman in Texas. He’s pledged to hunt down the Barrows and isn’t stopping till he has every last one of them dead. Unfortunately that includes Herbert.

In a series of battles that stretches across the South, the Midwest and onto the streets of Del Rio, Herbert finds himself up against God, the Devil, Frank Hamer and assorted bloodthirsty minions. Time and again, he manages to survive, only to see things get worse and worse. But just as his situation is looking hopeless, he finds a powerful, unexpected ally; a pregnant, underage, bible-reading radio clairvoyant named Rose Dawn.

Friendof the Devil is available as an ebook on Kindle.